How I Spent My Summer Vacation: In a Squad Car

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold throughout New Jersey. Here’s what went on this week for “OMGs from NJ PD.”

Quality Family Time: Parents are squeezing in the last few precious days of summer fun with the kids before school starts. Swimming! Amusement parks! Shoplifting! Er, maybe that’s just (allegedly) Mei S. Yip.

Millburn Police say the Brooklyn woman took the when she five-finger discounted 14 items from Bloomingdale's in Short Hills. The kids’ “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” essays won’t include seeing mom in cuffs, at least, as police allowed her to remain unrestrained on the way to the station.

If at First You Don’t Succeed: Nicholas Moriarity didn’t let a little thing like an arrest stop him when he allegedly resumed a .

Toms River Police first picked up the 22-year-old Moriarity at 8:30 a.m. for vehicle burglary; by lunchtime, he was back on the streets, and, police say, back to his old tricks, when they cornered him outside a Red Lobster. After inexplicably tearing off his shirt, police say Moriarity fled into the woods, where he was re-arrested, slapped with a $75,000 bail and denied Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

“Fun” Gets a New Meaning: Police are used to detaining unwilling suspects, but it’s a special arrestee who announces his intentions and then follows through on them.

Meet Daniel Walthour, 45, of Hopatcong. He reportedly fought police so aggressively at the scene of his arrest that two officers suffered rib and back injuries. At the station, Walthour reportedly asked police, before going off again.

After five officers cuffed Walthour to a bench, he gave up on fun.

Your Beef Is with Julius Caesar: Harumph. Unreasonable cops, not buying your story just because you give a birth date that doesn’t exist.

If the excessive speed or the open bottle of booze didn’t tip the scales against Jose R. Guzman, 42, of Paterson, then perhaps it was the .

Unfortunately for Guzman, that hasn’t been a legitimate date since, oh, at least 46 BC when the Julian calendar was created. Maybe Guzman will remember which day to blow out the candles next year after he was slapped with charges for providing false information to police.

Here We Go Again: OMGs from NJ PD is one step away from setting up a 24-hour vigil at the poor Watchung Avenue overpass in Chatham Borough. At first, we just rolled our eyes when the bridge was assaulted in quick succession by a couple of tall trucks. Now, .

The overpass just survived its sixth encounter with a truck in the past two months. The bridge always comes out on top, and the truck drivers always come away with citations, but what does a poor overpass have to do for truckers to respect its height limit? 

Information from arrest and incident reports comes directly from the police departments named herein. An arrest does not indicate a conviction.